Curiouser and Curiouser
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Mr. Trout and Mr Pickles had one job: Find Alice and bring her back to save wonderland...so of course they instead bring back a little boy and fiery red head after a spat! A BOYZ CRAZY. AU!
1. Chapter 1

Curiouser and curiouser

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Wendy was mad! She was mad at Robbie. mad at dipper. Mad at everything! She was

so mad she almost lashed at an old crone she bumped into. Oh, man! I'm sorry! Said

Wendy as she helped the old lady up. "That's okay dearie, my eyesight may not be

what it used to be. But I can still tell when a girl's been crying. Have a rough night?"

Wendy sighed. If anything that's an understatement. The crone nodded. I hate to

add to your problems, but would you mind helping me home? It's getting dark and

my memories not what it used to be I fear. Wendy nodded. Sure, might even get me

mind of "stuff". She helped the old lady along. "So where is your house?" "W-where?

I-oh dear...I think it's called wonderland? Dose that help?" Wendy shrugged. "I'm

sure will figure it out eventually." Said Wendy not wanting to rush the poor woman.

The woman gives her a look. "So you accept my invitation to Wonderland?" Wendy

smiled. Deciding to play along with the poor woman. Sure, why not? Suddenly, the

old woman vanishes. And is replaced by a thin man dressed as a Victorian English

thug. "That's just what I wanted to hear." Said the man as he snaps his fingers. Suddenly a hole opens below Wendy...

…...

Dipper was sad. He'd blew it. He'd be lucky if Wendy ever wanted to talk to him

again. He was so depressed he didn't see the fat man in front of him until he was too

late. Suddenly a cake was smashed on the ground. "Oh, no! I'm so sorry!" Shouted

dipper. The fat man dressed as a Victorian English thug merely smiled. "Not to

worry boy. A fine lad like you wandering out at night like this, odds are he has

enough problems of his own...still my Wonderland Co. brand cake is ruined...my

boss will have my ass on a platter he will!" Dipper looked concerned. "Anyway I can

help you out?" The fat man looked deep in thought. "Maybe if you come explain what

happened my boss will let me off with just a warning?" Asked the man. Dipper

nodded. "Sure! Whatever it takes." The man smiles. "So you'll be excepting my

invitation to Wonderland then?" Dipper nodded again. "Of course!" The man snaps

his fingers. And before dipper can blink, he's fallen down a hole. Suddenly the thin

guy appears. "After you Mr. Trout." Said the thin man. "By your leave Mr. Pickles."

Said the fat man. Together, they also jumped down the rabbit hole...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't. **

**But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

Curiouser and Curiouser ch.2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

When Wendy woke up. She had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

She was on a floating island, among others. Along with giant trees, cow-birds, and

flying domino's...she was also wearing a leopard skin bikini...before she could

contemplate her sanity further, she heard a groan behind her. She looked behind and

saw dipper pines regaining consciousness. Despite the recent unpleasantness that

happened between them, he was a more than welcome sight in this sea of

insanity...also it was hard to be mad at him (and not to laugh) in his current

"condition." Dipper groggily woke up "W-wendy? Where are we? Why are you

laughing?" Wendy struggled to keep a straight face. "(snort)Sorry your "majesty",

wouldn't want to disturb you on your way to the ball." "I- Ball? What are you-

GAAHHH!" screamed dipper as he suddenly realized he was wearing an elegant

blue Victorian ball gown. Dipper blushed as he covered himself. "This is not

happening!" Wendy giggled. "Oh, come on dipper. You look pretty." It was then they

heard the arguing. They looked behind to see two familiar gentleman arguing

with...a talking cat!? I told you to bring me Alice! "Dose this look like Alice!?" "Look

pal, we followed the instructions that were given to us and that's where we ended up.

You got a problem? Take it up with your messenger." "And why did you bring that

boy!?" Snapped the cat. Yeah, why did you bring me? Asked an annoyed dipper as he

and Wendy walked over. The cat groaned. "Right, I'm sorry about this. Apparently,

there was some sort of misscommunication, somewhere down the line. He looked at

Wendy. Your the wrong girl in the wrong place. He then looked over at dipper. And

you- Seriously why is he here? I could understand the girl, but this boy?" One of the

men cleared his throat. "Right, well, it was like this: We popped up right as these

two were having a spat." The other man then interjected by speaking to dipper. "At

once you gained our sympathy. From one gentlemen who knows the folly of

missteping in the minefield that is the "fairer sex." to another." "I blame the telly

personally." Said the other man. Rots your brain, those Sit-com's. Asking a woman

out after a break-up? And she says yes?! How is that realistic? And what of the

implications? Are woman blank slates that will just jump on the next man that asks

when the first man upsets her? The other man speaks again. "Quite right, quite right.

Completely unrealistic...and really just a bad influence in general. Both to girls and

boys-" Uh, the reason why I'm here?" Asked dipper trying to get the conversation

back on track. "Wha- oh, right! So we sent you along as well. Not only would the girl

need not go through the ordeal alone. But mayhapse give you the chance of a spot of

redemption, eh?" said the man to dipper with a wink. "Again our deepest

sympathies." Said the other man. But don't feel too bad, tragic fowl-up's with the

missus is a matter of course. Practically a rite of passage at this point, really. Your

one step closer to becoming a man!" "Right! Shouted the other man. Maybe next

you'll shoot a buck!" "I personally don't get that." interjected the other guy. "Brutal

tongue lashes from a girl after you piss her off, I get. How else is a boy to learn

proper communication/social skills after all? But what practical lesson dose

shooting a buck teach?" Especially in today's modern civilized society?" "What about

self-defense?" Interjected the other guy. "Self-defense?! From a buck? Their always

running from humans! How's that self-defense?" Wendy groaned. "Look whatever,

could you please explain why I'm dressed like this!" Exclaimed Wendy. Dipper

meanwhile is desperately trying not to oogle her. "I'll take this one." Interjected the

cat. "We'll be here all day if you two try to explain it." The cat then explained how

the clothes they wear are manifestations about how they feel about themselves. How

is this a manifestation about myself!? Demanded both Wendy and Dipper. The cat

then began to explain. "My dear girl. Are you not a rebellious teenager with a thirst

for disobedience? What could be more rebellious then what you now wear?" Wendy

shrugged. He got her their. The cat turned to dipper. "You my boy, I'm afraid your

tale is a bit more tragic. You want and try to be more mature, more sophisticated,

more grown up, more manly. But it's all a ruse to hide your insecurities, your fears,

your doubts. Deep down you truly believe that you are everything you try to reject. A

frightened, helpless, worthless little girl. Who no one loves. No one takes seriously.

And isn't worth a dame." Wendy was horrified. Both at the cats words, and the effect

they were having on dipper. He was ghostly pale and in tears. "S-shut up! You don't

know me! You don't understand! This isn't me!"Screamed dipper as he tore off the dress!

**RIP!**

He panted for a second then saw the horrified look of the cat and the embarrassed

Wendy. Dipper let out a deep resigned sigh. " I wasn't wearing anything under the

dress was I?" "I'm afraid not my boy." Said one of the guys sympathetically. "You

should also be made aware your currently showing your "enthusiasm" toward the

girls new attire." Said the other man. "No need to feel shame my boy, it is a natural

function of the male anatomy after all." Said the other guy quickly. "And she is

pretty." Pointed out the other guy. "Quite." conceded the other guy...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

Curiouser and curiouser ch. 3

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Things only got more awkward for dipper from there. The majority of his dress somehow evaporated after being ripped. Giving him little to fashion into something useable. Meanwhile, Wendy is feeling more embarrassed.

For it quickly became clear that when dipper rejected the metaphorical manifestation of his psyche...wonderland apparently decided to do a literal version instead...While dipper is focusing to hide his shame. All of his doubts fears and insecurities were popping up in tattoo form all over his body.

**I'm not a man...**

**I'm not important...**

**I'm not special...**

**I'm worthless...**

**I'm weak...**

And these were some of the nice one's! She knew she shouldn't stare...but it was like a car accident! It was horrifying...but for the life of her she couldn't look away! Wendy honestly didn't know how to respond to all of this! And the fact that most of his insecurities seemed to revolve around her was not helping!

**Wendy hates me...**

**I don't deserve her...**

**She deserves better...**

**I made her cry...I'm the worse...**

Wendy was really torn. On the one hand she wanted to comfort him...but he seemed to have not caught on to what was happening. And she really didn't want him to know how much she saw. There was some very personal, intimate stuff now displayed across his skin right now! However, Mr. Trout soon took care of that.

"My boy, I feel it is my moral duty to tell you of your current skin "condition." Dipper broke from his intense concentration. What are you- Then dipper noticed. GAH! He cried out. "Don't look at me!" Shouted a now tearful Dipper as he hide behind a nearby bush...which suddenly grew feet and walked away. Leaving him exposed.

Wendy couldn't take it anymore! She swallowed her pride and tore off her top and handed it to dipper much to his embarrassment. "Here use this." Said a mortified Wendy flatly. "You need it more than I do." Dipper blushed as he used it to fashion a covering for himself. He sighed and looked at her. "Look Wendy I'm sor-" "Stop." Said Wendy flatly.

"You unintentionally said an insensitive thing at the worst possible time. I was mad at you...but I'm not now. And for the record I never hated you." Said Wendy comforting. Despite how horrible the last several minutes had been, dipper felt great now. Mr. Trout smiled. "See? Not even here an hour and-" SHUT UP! Shouted both kids at the two "gentleman." The Cheshire Cat groaned. It was going to be one of THOSE days...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


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